“I think the guy who wrote this piece was the town drunk.” –8th grader

“Counting is annoying.” –7th grader

“Mr. Light, Do you have an elf on the shelf?” “No, should I buy one?” “You can’t buy one. They just appear!” –3rd grader

“Mr. Light, if you lived in Scotland, you’d have to wear a skirt every day.” –2nd grader

“Which piece would you like to play for recital?” I asked. “Two Ladies Gasping,” she replied. –8th grader

“I saw my Spanish teacher hugging the nurse today. They’re both single.” –3rd grader