Wit & Wisdom from the
Students of Daniel Light
Daniel Light
Louisville, Kentucky
Teaching piano is my passion and my career. Students frequently delight me with their comments--often hilarious, sometimes witty, occasionally sweet and tender. Here are some of those gems.
LOL
“To save us all from Santa’s pow’r when we were gone astray.”
–1st grader, misreading lyrics.
“That sounds like a baby wrote it.”
–3rd grader, after completing a sight-reading exercise.
“I know a naughty version of Yankee Doodle, but I’m not allowed to say it.”
–3rd grader
“What does the p mean?” I asked the second grader after he’d played his quiet piece very loudly.
“Penis.”
“I need a nap!”
–3rd grader
“Wanna know what I call hand sanitizer? Paper cut locator.”
–9th grader
“I think the guy who wrote this piece was the town drunk.”
–8th grader
“Counting is annoying.”
–7th grader
“Mr. Light, Do you have an elf on the shelf?”
“No, should I buy one?”
“You can’t buy one. They just appear!”
–3rd grader
“Mr. Light, if you lived in Scotland, you’d have to wear a skirt every day.”
–2nd grader
“Which piece would you like to play for recital?” I asked.
“Two Ladies Gasping,” she replied.
–8th grader
“I saw my Spanish teacher hugging the nurse today. They’re both single.”
–3rd grader
“Back in my day, you didn’t move Halloween. You put on a poncho if it rained.”
–9th grader (going on 99)
“I got to sit by my crush at school today. I can tell he likes me, ’cause he acts like he hates me.”
–4th grader
“One day of practice wasn’t really enough, was it?” I suggested.
“Not a fan of the hard work,” he replied.
–9th grader
“That sounds like somebody died.”
–2nd grader, after hearing a piece in a minor key.
“First grade is awesome, but there’s a really sassy girl who sits beside me.”
–1st grader
“Mosquitoes like me because I have stinky feet.”
–3rd grader
“You could teach a dead body to play piano.”
–Adult student, in response to my praising her good progress.
“Why didn’t Mozart have any chickens? Because they always say ‘Bach, Bach, Bach.'”
–1st grader
“I just had sugar!”
–1st grader, walking in to her lesson, as if I needed to be warned
“You should put your highlighter tape in rainbow order,” she suggested.
“I don’t remember rainbow order,” I replied.
“MR. LIGHT! How can you not know the order of rainbow colors? I learned that in kindergarten!”
–3rd grader
“I love your story, but it needs to end sometime.”
–1st grader, telling me about his very chatty classmate
“Are we really allowed to add a rest on the barline?” I asked.
“No, but I smiled when I did it.”
–4th grader
“Fructose!” (uttered as an expletive)
–6th grader
“Line?” said the theater kid, struggling to play from memory.
“I’m pretty sure this piece must have been written by aliens.”
–11th grader
“Feet flat, back straight, fingers curved,” said the first grader before starting to play.
I busted up laughing. They don’t usually parrot it back to me.
“Harry Had a Little Ham?”
–1st grader
“If you’d come to my house to teach me, I could squeeze out another 15 minutes on the Xbox.”
–6th grader
“I got a flu shot yesterday. I screamed in Walgreens.”
–8th grader
“I don’t like that piece. It sounds like someone tooting.”
–1st Grader
“I don’t want to play Old MacDonald. McDonald’s is gross.”
–1st Grader
“I saw your head at the concert last night.”
–1st grader
“I can’t wait to be an adult so I can boss kids around.”
–8th grader
“Potissimo?”
–6th grader
Peter Piper Picking Pickled Peppers
When you play the piece, you have to be able to say the title.
“Tell me one of Haydn’s significant achievements,” I asked, hoping for some memory of sonata form.
“No one could ever find him?”
–10th grader
“Do you hear what I’m saying?” I asked, quite sure that he hadn’t.
“I hear what you’re layin’ down,” he replied.
–7th grader
“Don’t cross your legs while you’re playing,” I requested.
“But it makes me feel fancy.”
–Kindergartner
“My grandmother told me that note was wrong.”
“Did you argue with her?”
“What would be the point?”
–5th grader
“It’s been another successful hour of comedy with Jack.”
–7th-grade Jack, leaving his lesson
“I wish we had snack time at piano lessons.”
–7th grader
“I want to make a law that there’s no school on Presidents’ Day. How are we supposed to honor the presidents if we’re busy doing math problems?”
–7th grader
“Has this piece seen the light of day since your last lesson?” I asked.
“Not enough to get a tan.”
–10th grader
“I trimmed my fingernails today, ’cause I knew you’d get mad if I didn’t.”
–6th grade boy
“I just whipped my hair.”
“Where’d you learn that move?”
“From boys who play in bands.”
–2nd grader
“This Square Dance piece reminds me of cotillion. It was tragic. I had to dance with more than one girl.”
–7th grader
tears
“Which piece would you prefer for recital?” I asked after playing two.
“I want the longer one. I get more attention.”
–2nd grader
When mom is out of town, and big brother drives you to your piano lesson, details are sometimes overlooked.
